When it rains in Accra, everything floats except our shame. Ghana officially declared war on floods but the rain keeps showing up anyway, flooding the same roads with the same official surprise every single year.
When It Rains, It Floods In Accra Without Fail Read Post »
Politics, Society
The new interviewer does not know what Legon is. It does not know what a Ghanaian accent sounds like when it is being honest rather than performing. It does not know that the motorcycle outside the window is Accra being Accra and not a technical fault. It knows one thing with complete confidence: your score.
“Bro, I think I’m the new Abusuapanin of my entire extended family.” He was not joking. You could feel the weight of expectations in his breath—a man who cannot fail not because of himself, but because even the family dog wants aburokyire bone from him.
The Abusuapanin From Over 5,000 Miles Away Read Post »
Society
Society hands you the coin, points at one face, and tells you that is the whole story. The angel in feathery wings on Sunday morning. The devil in blood-stained apparel on a sun-infested hump day. The selfish-altruist nobody wants to talk about — and the system that made a public enemy out of the wrong person.
The Selfish-Altruist: Society’s Most Misunderstood Public Enemy Read Post »
Society
Sisyphus was condemned to roll a boulder up a hill for eternity. Every time he neared the summit, it rolled back down. In Ghanaian parlance — w’ani bɛ hu Canaan nanso wo nan ensi hɔ da. The Greeks called it divine punishment. Ghanaians call it an election cycle
The Myth of Sisyphus Was Always Ghanaians’ Living Reality Read Post »
Politics, Society
There is a specific kind of evening in Ghana that belongs entirely to the Ghanaian movie. The family assembled. The television on. Nobody surprised by what is about to happen. Because for thirty years the Ghanaian movie formula has always produced the same film. A satirical field guide to the formula we all grew up on — and why a whole generation quietly stopped watching.
The Ghanaian Movies Formula: Same Movies, Different Titles Read Post »
Entertainment
I was minding my business. I was not in Washington, not in Tel Aviv, not in Tehran. I was in Ghana, navigating fuel prices and watching the cedi perform gymnastics against the dollar. Then I woke up one morning and somebody had named a war Operation Epic Fury and sent Ghana the bill. Nobody called Ghana. Ghana picked up anyway.
Nobody Called Ghana: A Satirical Dispatch From Operation Epic Fury Read Post »
Global, Politics
I almost called in. GH₵1,000 for express results, GH₵100 for the standard package. A horse tail, a colourful fugu, white powder in the air, and a phone line ringing fast and furious at Bolt’s pace. Ghana’s get rich quick scheme in full effect — until ECG, as always, saved the day.
Pay Me First And I Will Make Thee Richest of Men Read Post »
Society
Ghana has prayed about it since 2006. The prayers have accrued compound interest. Nananom have demanded Schnapps. The crossbar has been warned. The bonus negotiation framework is the most battle-tested in world football. 35 million licensed coaches are ready on their sofas. The commentators have Pelé, Maradona and the Holy Ghost on standby. Ghana is winning the 2026 World Cup. This is not an opinion. This is a rational analysis.
Why Ghana Will Win The 2026 World Cup: A Satire Read Post »
Sports
