Noah’s Fake Prophecy
Accra, Ghana — The ancient spirit of Biblical Noah found a modern vessel in Ebo Noah, a self-acclaimed prophet from Ghana, who achieved global notoriety for delivering a fake prophecy with a divine proclamation.
God, he claimed, would submerge the earth under furious floods on December 25th. The date? The birthday of His only begotten son, the saviour of the world.
Yet this was not pure wrath. Fully aware of Noah’s creative genius, God further instructed him to design and build ten gigantic auto-expanding arks. Proof, Noah said, that God’s belief in humanity and His saving grace remain bountiful.
A Prophecy That Broke the Internet
The very notion of a second flood hurled the internet into convulsive emotional reactions. Self-styled Biblical knowledge aristocrats marshalled scripture to debunk the claim.
Noah, savoring his newfound fame, made public appearances adorned in his cocoa bɔtɔ (sac) styled gown—an esoteric fashion statement. He even secured a stage appearance at the legendary Rapperholic concert 2025, leveraging fake prophecy into influencer clout.
His true masterstroke was strategic timing as he released the prophecy long before the oft-cacophonous raft of 31st-night predictions.
Christmas Eve
In a social media video, Ebo Noah announced a divine update that God, swayed by his intercessory prayers, had postponed the most anticipated tragedy of our time.
The revised directive from God: “Build even more auto-expanding arks fully capable of accommodating all the over eight billion souls living on earth if they are willing to listen.”
The Law Finally Cracked Its Whip
On December 31st, as Noah enjoyed the Christmas holidays, authorities apprehended him. They arraigned him for inducing public fear and panic with fake prophecies.
Why Noah, and Not the Others?
Here lies the catch-22. Perennial fake prophecies from some “men of God” flood the nation yearly. These are people we are meant to trust. This demands urgent scrutiny from the appropriate authorities.
Such proclamations place citizens in dire straits. Noah must not be the lone scapegoat. The laws are meant to be functional. They must protect everyone equally.
A Sour Note, But a Deserved Fate
His comeuppance is a sour year-end note. But by turning God into a politician—negotiating deadlines, lie mongering, managing public relations, he is fully deserving of his fate.
The World Breathes
The flooding was an obvious hoax, a fake prophecy created for ubiquitous attention.
Yet everyone remains uneasily aware the next impending doom prophecy awaits in the corridors of time.
The Brewed Satire
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